Exclusive Vault Release: "Wondering If" Demo 6.28.2012 2AM

This months emotion is Nostalgia. I've decided to start looking back at old songs or demos I never released and track the evolution of  Raw Emotions. This is one of the first songs that I wrote when I started exploring a solo career 6 years ago. I was OBSESSED with this song the day I wrote it and couldn't help but record a demo of it at 2am in the bathroom while everyone was sleeping. You can literally hear me pressing the space bar in the recording cause the microphone was cranked up so loud to capture me singing insanely quietly. The lyrics are a bit cryptic in this one and at this point in my life I interpret them to simply be about accepting who you are and trusting that other people will love you for being nothing more than that. To me that's scary as fuck and honestly I'm still working on it 6 years later.

V1:

I've been holdin on so long

It's easy to forget, it's easy to forget that I can let it go

And I've been a strong man

But even a strong man, even a strong man

Only has two hands

 

Chorus:

and I'm wondering if

and I'm wondering if

 

V2:

When I look into a mirror

I see a younger man, I see a younger man

That used to be me

And if I leave it all behind, will you take me in your arms?

And if I can't let it go, will you leave me all alone

 

Chorus:

and I'm wondering if

and I'm wondering if

 

Bridge:

And with the weight of all my sins upon me

Demons at the door that haunt me

If I gave all will you still want me

And take me as I am

And with the weight of all my sins upon me

Demons at the door that haunt me

If I gave all will you still want me

And take me as I am

With the burden of my hands

 

Chorus:

and I'm wonderin if

and I'm wonderin if