Happiness. I thought a lot about what song to share that's connected to Happiness. This song ALWAYS makes me feel good. It's not about the content, or the words really, it's just about the vibe. Play it loud, it works best that way :)
Exclusive Vault Release: "July"
So, with this month's emotional focus being on breath, I wanted to share a new song called July. This song for me is about waking up in the morning on your birthday, taking your first breath and realizing how different things are. It's hard to accept change, but breathing helps. This is a rough demo of just a vocal and piano but I'll finish her up at some point :)
Exclusive Vault Release: "Montreal"
Montreal. I wrote this song last year remembering a trip to Montreal. Not one of the easiest ones to write, but I love it. It captures loneliness in a beautifully tragic way, an honest way. This is just a demo but it’ll find it’s way home someday soon.
Exclusive Vault Release: "My Own Way" Documentary and Music Video
In 2015 I wrote a song and directed a video called "My Own Way" that featured some of the bravest and most powerful people I've ever met. The goal was to inspire people to speak loudly not only about mental health, but about their loves, passions and bold embrace of themselves. We created this in support of the brilliant organization Love is Louder and the JED Foundation to send this message out into the world. There are so many people to thank that made this video possible but most importantly I have to thank the people who have shared their stories - Ilma Gore, Michael Gerber, Afia Fields, Jeanette Nitao, Alix Angelis, Kris Angelis, Dana Harris & Jeff Everett.
Full documentary and music video below. Let me know you it made you feel in the comments!
Documentary
Music Video
Exclusive Vault Release: "American Psycho"
Today’s “Raw Emotions Vault” release is an unreleased demo I wrote called “American Psycho”. This is a really important song for me and explores the experiences I’ve had when I’ve felt embarrassed and afraid of my depression. This song is a reminder for me to be bold, transparent and honest in the words and music I write.
Listen and comment below to let me know what you think of the song.
Exclusive Vault Release: "Simple As That"
Here's my April "Exclusive Vault Release" - it's a throwback called "Simple As That". I took this off itunes as my sound was changing and looking back I feel like deserve it's place in the world. Welcome back "Simple As That".
Exclusive Vault Release: "Wondering If" Demo 6.28.2012 2AM
This months emotion is Nostalgia. I've decided to start looking back at old songs or demos I never released and track the evolution of Raw Emotions. This is one of the first songs that I wrote when I started exploring a solo career 6 years ago. I was OBSESSED with this song the day I wrote it and couldn't help but record a demo of it at 2am in the bathroom while everyone was sleeping. You can literally hear me pressing the space bar in the recording cause the microphone was cranked up so loud to capture me singing insanely quietly. The lyrics are a bit cryptic in this one and at this point in my life I interpret them to simply be about accepting who you are and trusting that other people will love you for being nothing more than that. To me that's scary as fuck and honestly I'm still working on it 6 years later.
V1:
I've been holdin on so long
It's easy to forget, it's easy to forget that I can let it go
And I've been a strong man
But even a strong man, even a strong man
Only has two hands
Chorus:
and I'm wondering if
and I'm wondering if
V2:
When I look into a mirror
I see a younger man, I see a younger man
That used to be me
And if I leave it all behind, will you take me in your arms?
And if I can't let it go, will you leave me all alone
Chorus:
and I'm wondering if
and I'm wondering if
Bridge:
And with the weight of all my sins upon me
Demons at the door that haunt me
If I gave all will you still want me
And take me as I am
And with the weight of all my sins upon me
Demons at the door that haunt me
If I gave all will you still want me
And take me as I am
With the burden of my hands
Chorus:
and I'm wonderin if
and I'm wonderin if
Exclusive Vault Release: Uncomfortable (Demo)
A few weeks ago I performed a live "dig" on instagram where I improvised lyrics and melodies inspired by the emotion of the month, "Uncomfortable". I ended up using pieces of that "live dig" to create a song called "Uncomfortable" with a new friend and producer named Eff3X. The recording is a rough demo and in no shape to be shared with the world from a "professional" point of view, but I think you deserve to hear it and I personally love it :)
Exclusive Vault Release: Wade
I'm really excited to share this release with you guys. This is a song from an album I've been calling "The lost 2015" sessions." I actually played this song at a solo show in Los Angeles the night I met my now close friend and collaborator, Billy Van. Billy then went on to produce this entire album that I'll be sharing with you through the Raw Emotions Vault. Wade is about acceptance, loss and that feeling after you’ve cried, or screamed or broken down... when time slows... and everything finally feels peaceful. This is a good one to listen to with your eyes closed.
Exclusive Vault Release: Wasted Days
I've decided to start releasing music and additional collaborative art through the Raw Emotions Vault. There are songs that I love and mean so much, but haven't quite found a home, or haven't been produced yet but were written during the month of a specific emotion. The same is true for photos, videos, essays, animation treatments, designs that never get to see the light of day but have so much character. Creating and sharing is the core of the Raw Emotions project, the vault is allowing me to take that even further. It's imperative to me that EVERYTHING is heard, felt and seen during this Raw Emotions project. The vault is a safe space for art to be shared every week, and sometimes even more often than that.
This first Vault only release is called Wasted Days. I wrote it with one of my best friends, Caroline Pennell, and always regretted never putting it out. Figured it was only right I revisited that regret this month and finally let it out into the Raw Emotions world.