I wrote Brooklyn In The Summer after 4 days in the desert with friends developing my creative practice that I call “The Dig.” Digs are 10 min vocal and lyric improvisations designed to bring up subconscious ideas and emotions that I don’t want to face, but are the most important to deal with. I had a session with my friend Jake Scott and After we did a couple digs and came back from a walk I sat down at a Piano and Brooklyn just came out. Jake walked in the room as the chorus started to form and we finished it together in about 30 minutes. It was magic. Here is the original demo from that day :)
Exclusive Vault Release: "July"
So, with this month's emotional focus being on breath, I wanted to share a new song called July. This song for me is about waking up in the morning on your birthday, taking your first breath and realizing how different things are. It's hard to accept change, but breathing helps. This is a rough demo of just a vocal and piano but I'll finish her up at some point :)
Fucked up Crazy demo
“Fucked Up Crazy” comes out during the month where I’m exploring Loneliness in my Raw Emotions project. At its core the song is really about caving in to being with someone you know is probably going to completely tear you apart, but you do everything you can to justify in order to not feel lonely. The song itself is wrapped up in a love story where it feels like I’m convince that this person and I are perfect for each other, and that being together might be perfect since we are both “f***ed up”. The truth is it’s really just the powers of a very manipulative and brilliantly tricky dark side of my mind. In this song I really just don’t want to be alone and as vulnerable and “taboo” as that is to say, I thought it’d be really important to explore this part of my life that scares the shit out of me.
Here's the voice note from the original idea of the song and the final song.
Exclusive Vault Release: "Montreal"
Montreal. I wrote this song last year remembering a trip to Montreal. Not one of the easiest ones to write, but I love it. It captures loneliness in a beautifully tragic way, an honest way. This is just a demo but it’ll find it’s way home someday soon.
Erase You demos
"Erase you" is by far one of the most personal songs I've ever written. In the verses I talk about getting home from LA back to NYC. Here is the demo of the song from the night I wrote it on my synthesizer at home the morning after getting back from LA. I ended up re-writing the chorus with my friend, producer Jordan Palmer, in June. Then, on a freezing cold night in December coming back from a H.E.R. concert I wrote what is now the final chorus of "Erase You". Check out these demos and let me know what you think.
Now listen to the final version! Artwork by Cortney Armitage.
Back Where You Belong demo
Here's the original piano demo of Back Where You Belong. I decided to release this song for Hopeful this month because I felt that it accurately represented the hope you can have about coming back to someone you love in a relationship. This song has helped teach me that being hopeful is brave. I used to think it was a cop out to hope, but I realized that in order to hope for something, you have to accept the fact that it might now happen. I think there is true courage in having hope.
Fun fact: This song was the inspiration for the flowers behind the back photo I put in the last post.
Here's the final released version!
Space Left Between demo
Here's the demo for Space Left Between. We ended up re-recording the guitar and vocal for this song 3 times and every time it just didn't feel right. In the end we used this exact vocal and guitar as a core of the final track. It is the only song of the first Raw Emotions EP with parts not recording in NYC.
Here's the final version :) The photo was done by Cortney Armitage.
Raw Emotions demo
This is honestly where Raw Emotions began, but I had no idea at the time. This song was completely inspired. I think we finished this demo within a few hours of being in the studio. It would take 18 months to realize this title was the core of the next major creative phase of my life. I made this with my friend, writer/producer Daple.
Tom Petty
When Tom Petty died, I was really shocked. You know the icons who made the music that shaped you are getting older, but this was different, it felt like it came out of no where. The world losing Tom coupled the pain of the tragedy in Vegas was overwhelming. I still can't believe it's real. I wrote this song that week.
In america it seems it’s a shit show everyday
It’s harder to justify my words
Oh my little problems buried in my little mind
Trying to find meaning in my life
Natural disasters are coming even faster than we thought we would ever see
But you and your guitar
Made america feel small in a way we haven’t felt since ‘70
Oh my
What will we be without your song
Alright
Runnin’ down a dream out in the sun
What will we be without your song
What will we be without your song
February shakes, 2008
Watching the super bowl down south
A boy of 5 years looks up at his father
daddy who is that man
He said son you listen close
He writes american songs
The kind that you wanna take back home
He put him on his lap
Singing “I won’t back down”
Drinking memories through his eyes
Oh my
What will we be without your song
Alright
Singing “refugee” out in the sun
What will we be without your song
What will we be without your song
2017
Memories and dreams
Got things that I don’t need but can’t admit
Worrying about my songs
My body and my wallet
I feel like a selfish piece of shit
And now Tom Petty died
And too many mother closed the eyes of sons they sent off to watch a concert
I say what kind of america is this
still I think of women and success
Is that human or just the way it is?
Oh my
What will I be without your song
Alright
Runnin’ down a dream out in the sun
Oh my
What will I be without your song
Alright
Singing “refugee” out in the sun
What will I be without your song
What will I be without your song